With 'Alli's' Like This You Don't Need Enemas

During the bombardment of weight loss marketing campaigns,one particular product jumped out...alli™ . Alli™ weight loss system "works in your digestive system,
not in your heart or brain." I must admit the website is impressive...there is one on one dietitian consults, online forums,FAQ's, videos on how it works, and interactive online weight loss tools. To be able to buy this wonder drug over the counter is even more exciting! Right? This drug is so WRONG on many many levels!

alli™ works by preventing the absorption of some of the fat you eat. This sounds pretty reasonable.....miraculous in fact! The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as "treatment effects". You may get:

gas with oily spotting
loose stools
more frequent stools that may be hard to control

You have to love the power of marketing...they use fancy language...making horrific drug side effects known as "treatment effects"...sound intriguing and alluring. Does shitting your pants without warning sound alluring? One of the main side effects of this drug is 'anal leakage'. Is any amount of weight loss worth losing all self respect and dignity because every time you blink you leave 'bacon strip smears' in your undies? A sneeze would prove deadly as projectile feces could splatter god knows where! Here are some of the suggestions to 'cope with the treatment effects'.

While no one likes experiencing treatment effects, they might help you think twice about eating questionable fat content. If you think of it like that, alli can act like a security guard for your late-night cravings

You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work

You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens

BRING A CHANGE OF CLOTHES??? MAKE YOU THINK TWICE BEFORE EATING FAT CONTENT AGAIN? I find this entire concept very degrading and disturbing. People who suffer from mild urinary incontinence suffer tremendously...always worried about wetting themselves in social situations or worrying about being away from a bathroom. Social events and physical activities are severely curtailed because of a little bladder leakage...can you imagine volunteering...actually paying for 'anal leakage' and 'explosive diarrhea' for choosing the wrong food or putting some butter on your muffin?


Hello people...this weight loss wonder drug is as old as the hills....it is otherwise known as the 'chocolate diet'...take some ex lax 'chocolate' squares regularly and you too can drop some unwanted pounds. BUT, you lose the weight because you are constantly shitting and you are not able to eat anything....not because of some magical ingredient. Even if alli™ has a secret special ingredient...the 'treatment effects' sounds pretty shitty to me!

"Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.”-African Proverb quotes

Lynn
;)

Life is a Journey...

There is a crazy dude in my spin class named Wayne. He is about 60 years old...and super duper physically fit. While most of us are sweating our eye balls out and struggling to keep those bike wheels turning...Wayne is flying along with ease at the highest possible tension setting on the bike.Basically Wayne is peddling the equivalent of biking straight up a 90 degree angled hill...easily without batting an eye...while the rest of us in the class struggle to survive and gasp for air! Wayne smiles the entire time that he exercises!!! Each week, Wayne gives the group a motivational story and/or a couple of inspirational quotes. This week his story was about Oprah...her personal trainer, Bob Greene, had been interviewed about Oprah's weight gain.

Bob Green told the reporter that the root of Oprah's weight gain problem was due to her lack of goal for a lifestyle change. Her original weight loss goal was a specific number on the scales and to run a marathon. She accomplished that goal within a year...and then she slowly started to gain the weight back. Oprah is human...something everybody seems to forget at times. I admit I am just as guilty as most...when Oprah lost the weight I said " well it's easy for her because she has a personal trainer all day... a personal chef all day...she's rich." I never once acknowledged that Oprah's personal trainer and/or chef...did not get up at 4am everyday...work out before work... put in a full 12 hour day...and exercise after work...they did not run the fat off her ass...she did it! Now, my heart aches for her. I had thought she was 'cured' of this fat fight...but you never are.

Wayne turns to me and says that "life is a journey...not a destination." My first reaction is to roll my eyes...like gag me...a gold standard quote. Life is a journey...not a destination. How many times have we heard this statement? How much money do you suppose Hallmark has made selling cards with this on it? I know I have heard it at least a million times...but I have never really 'absorbed' it. Wayne goes on to say "we are right here...right now...shouldn't be spinning for some number on the scales or day in the future that may never happen...it is right here, right now...fun group...great music...feel the burn...celebrate being alive...in the moment...right now." I thought about all of the years I have denied myself nice clothing, or dreaded trips, special events, even holidays in entirety because of my weight! How ridiculous is that? I still do it...I am getting better...but how tragic is that to deny yourself living because of a number on the scale?

Then, out of the blue...the actual intention of the quote "LIFE IS A JOURNEY...NOT A DESTINATION"...slaps me right across the face! I finally got it! I cannot waste one more day waiting for the day I weigh this...to do this, or to buy this or to enjoy a moment. In September I decided I was going to train for a mini triathlon. I am swimming, spinning, snowshoeing, downhill skiing, weight lifting, doing aerobics, on the treadmill, and rowing. I exercise almost everyday. I am now smoke free. I am focusing more on increasing my activity and experiences and less on a specific number. Life is not suddenly going to be perfect when the scales hit 199 pounds!

Wayne knocks me out of my reverie...my thighs are burning, my eye balls are sweating, I am struggling to keep those bike wheels turning... my ass is numb from that tiny tortuous bike seat...I am struggling to breathe...Wayne says "this is it Lynn...this is it right here, right now!" I feel the 'self inflicted' pain...I feel the fierce pride to be keeping up with the group...I feel alive again!

The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones.
- John Maynard Keynes

Lynn
;)

The Best Resolution Is None At All

Some people get wired about Christmas, others Valentine's Day...but for me...New Years sends me right over the edge! New Years is the dreaded resolution time..."I promise to be a better person"..."be more organized"..."volunteer somewhere"..."make lemons out of lemonade"..."be kind to myself"...whatever. Every year, I discover myself just as fat...if not fatter...FATTER. I feel a tremendous disappointment in myself....a failure....a swelling of the waste line...tighter clothes...MISERY. I reflect back on the year before, the resolution I made…and my failure to lose weight….again! The most common New Years resolutions involve weight loss and/or fitness...and I have been making that resolution every year since Christ was a cowboy. The 60 billion dollar weight loss industry depends on that failure.

Then, to add insult to injury I am bombarded every New Years with TV and magazine ads and marketing blasts for weight loss pills, lotions, potions and creams, weight loss gizmos and contraptions that resemble torture devices from the dark ages, sweat machines, bum jiggles thingy, miracle balls, fat patches…you name it or dream of it and it does exist! I recently saw a product on TV that was a rip-off of the Bugs Bunny weight loss method. Remember Bugs in that big steam machine with just his head peeking out…then the steam and them shazam….Bugs Bunny was only teeny tiny! I can’t believe they sell these things! I cannot believe that people believe that a big fat hairy bearded woman becomes a slim and trim bikini clad beauty by taking some speed…oops diet pills. It is so obvious that the before picture is not the same as the after woman…but people are buying this crap…including me!

I am embarrassed to say that I have spent more than a small fortune in many of these products hoping and praying that this will be THE ONE. I have tried the typical Weight Watchers, and also took handfuls of pills. Let’s see there were the grapefruit pills, apple cider vinegar pills, fiber pills, dexatrim, xendarine, ephedrine, chromium pills, mega-multi vitamin pills, detoxification pills, thyroid boost pills…and many more. I also wore a fat patch…that was supposed to melt the fat right off….it didn’t. Then I tried Nutrisystem weekly weigh in and astronaut food. That one worked well because I did not have to prepare and it was just add water! I tried Simply for Life….that was a good diet… I did lose 50 pounds… but once I ran out of money I quickly gained it all back quickly. I do not place blame on any of the plans, pills or contraptions.


There is no secret potion or contraption. The secret to weight loss is eating less and moving more. That is it….it is no secret at all. This year I wanted a resolution of substance instead of my usual lose weight one. I’ve decided the best one by far is NO RESOLUTION. I am not setting myself up for a self-inflicted beating next year.

Lynn
;)