During the bombardment of weight loss marketing campaigns,one particular product jumped out...alli™ . Alli™ weight loss system "works in your digestive system,
not in your heart or brain." I must admit the website is impressive...there is one on one dietitian consults, online forums,FAQ's, videos on how it works, and interactive online weight loss tools. To be able to buy this wonder drug over the counter is even more exciting! Right? This drug is so WRONG on many many levels!
alli™ works by preventing the absorption of some of the fat you eat. This sounds pretty reasonable.....miraculous in fact! The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as "treatment effects". You may get:
gas with oily spotting
loose stools
more frequent stools that may be hard to control
You have to love the power of marketing...they use fancy language...making horrific drug side effects known as "treatment effects"...sound intriguing and alluring. Does shitting your pants without warning sound alluring? One of the main side effects of this drug is 'anal leakage'. Is any amount of weight loss worth losing all self respect and dignity because every time you blink you leave 'bacon strip smears' in your undies? A sneeze would prove deadly as projectile feces could splatter god knows where! Here are some of the suggestions to 'cope with the treatment effects'.
While no one likes experiencing treatment effects, they might help you think twice about eating questionable fat content. If you think of it like that, alli can act like a security guard for your late-night cravings
You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work
You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens
BRING A CHANGE OF CLOTHES??? MAKE YOU THINK TWICE BEFORE EATING FAT CONTENT AGAIN? I find this entire concept very degrading and disturbing. People who suffer from mild urinary incontinence suffer tremendously...always worried about wetting themselves in social situations or worrying about being away from a bathroom. Social events and physical activities are severely curtailed because of a little bladder leakage...can you imagine volunteering...actually paying for 'anal leakage' and 'explosive diarrhea' for choosing the wrong food or putting some butter on your muffin?
Hello people...this weight loss wonder drug is as old as the hills....it is otherwise known as the 'chocolate diet'...take some ex lax 'chocolate' squares regularly and you too can drop some unwanted pounds. BUT, you lose the weight because you are constantly shitting and you are not able to eat anything....not because of some magical ingredient. Even if alli™ has a secret special ingredient...the 'treatment effects' sounds pretty shitty to me!
"Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.”-African Proverb quotes
Lynn
;)
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Life is a Journey...
There is a crazy dude in my spin class named Wayne. He is about 60 years old...and super duper physically fit. While most of us are sweating our eye balls out and struggling to keep those bike wheels turning...Wayne is flying along with ease at the highest possible tension setting on the bike.Basically Wayne is peddling the equivalent of biking straight up a 90 degree angled hill...easily without batting an eye...while the rest of us in the class struggle to survive and gasp for air! Wayne smiles the entire time that he exercises!!! Each week, Wayne gives the group a motivational story and/or a couple of inspirational quotes. This week his story was about Oprah...her personal trainer, Bob Greene, had been interviewed about Oprah's weight gain.
Bob Green told the reporter that the root of Oprah's weight gain problem was due to her lack of goal for a lifestyle change. Her original weight loss goal was a specific number on the scales and to run a marathon. She accomplished that goal within a year...and then she slowly started to gain the weight back. Oprah is human...something everybody seems to forget at times. I admit I am just as guilty as most...when Oprah lost the weight I said " well it's easy for her because she has a personal trainer all day... a personal chef all day...she's rich." I never once acknowledged that Oprah's personal trainer and/or chef...did not get up at 4am everyday...work out before work... put in a full 12 hour day...and exercise after work...they did not run the fat off her ass...she did it! Now, my heart aches for her. I had thought she was 'cured' of this fat fight...but you never are.
Wayne turns to me and says that "life is a journey...not a destination." My first reaction is to roll my eyes...like gag me...a gold standard quote. Life is a journey...not a destination. How many times have we heard this statement? How much money do you suppose Hallmark has made selling cards with this on it? I know I have heard it at least a million times...but I have never really 'absorbed' it. Wayne goes on to say "we are right here...right now...shouldn't be spinning for some number on the scales or day in the future that may never happen...it is right here, right now...fun group...great music...feel the burn...celebrate being alive...in the moment...right now." I thought about all of the years I have denied myself nice clothing, or dreaded trips, special events, even holidays in entirety because of my weight! How ridiculous is that? I still do it...I am getting better...but how tragic is that to deny yourself living because of a number on the scale?
Then, out of the blue...the actual intention of the quote "LIFE IS A JOURNEY...NOT A DESTINATION"...slaps me right across the face! I finally got it! I cannot waste one more day waiting for the day I weigh this...to do this, or to buy this or to enjoy a moment. In September I decided I was going to train for a mini triathlon. I am swimming, spinning, snowshoeing, downhill skiing, weight lifting, doing aerobics, on the treadmill, and rowing. I exercise almost everyday. I am now smoke free. I am focusing more on increasing my activity and experiences and less on a specific number. Life is not suddenly going to be perfect when the scales hit 199 pounds!
Wayne knocks me out of my reverie...my thighs are burning, my eye balls are sweating, I am struggling to keep those bike wheels turning... my ass is numb from that tiny tortuous bike seat...I am struggling to breathe...Wayne says "this is it Lynn...this is it right here, right now!" I feel the 'self inflicted' pain...I feel the fierce pride to be keeping up with the group...I feel alive again!
Lynn
;)
Bob Green told the reporter that the root of Oprah's weight gain problem was due to her lack of goal for a lifestyle change. Her original weight loss goal was a specific number on the scales and to run a marathon. She accomplished that goal within a year...and then she slowly started to gain the weight back. Oprah is human...something everybody seems to forget at times. I admit I am just as guilty as most...when Oprah lost the weight I said " well it's easy for her because she has a personal trainer all day... a personal chef all day...she's rich." I never once acknowledged that Oprah's personal trainer and/or chef...did not get up at 4am everyday...work out before work... put in a full 12 hour day...and exercise after work...they did not run the fat off her ass...she did it! Now, my heart aches for her. I had thought she was 'cured' of this fat fight...but you never are.
Wayne turns to me and says that "life is a journey...not a destination." My first reaction is to roll my eyes...like gag me...a gold standard quote. Life is a journey...not a destination. How many times have we heard this statement? How much money do you suppose Hallmark has made selling cards with this on it? I know I have heard it at least a million times...but I have never really 'absorbed' it. Wayne goes on to say "we are right here...right now...shouldn't be spinning for some number on the scales or day in the future that may never happen...it is right here, right now...fun group...great music...feel the burn...celebrate being alive...in the moment...right now." I thought about all of the years I have denied myself nice clothing, or dreaded trips, special events, even holidays in entirety because of my weight! How ridiculous is that? I still do it...I am getting better...but how tragic is that to deny yourself living because of a number on the scale?
Then, out of the blue...the actual intention of the quote "LIFE IS A JOURNEY...NOT A DESTINATION"...slaps me right across the face! I finally got it! I cannot waste one more day waiting for the day I weigh this...to do this, or to buy this or to enjoy a moment. In September I decided I was going to train for a mini triathlon. I am swimming, spinning, snowshoeing, downhill skiing, weight lifting, doing aerobics, on the treadmill, and rowing. I exercise almost everyday. I am now smoke free. I am focusing more on increasing my activity and experiences and less on a specific number. Life is not suddenly going to be perfect when the scales hit 199 pounds!
Wayne knocks me out of my reverie...my thighs are burning, my eye balls are sweating, I am struggling to keep those bike wheels turning... my ass is numb from that tiny tortuous bike seat...I am struggling to breathe...Wayne says "this is it Lynn...this is it right here, right now!" I feel the 'self inflicted' pain...I feel the fierce pride to be keeping up with the group...I feel alive again!
The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones.
- John Maynard Keynes
Lynn
;)
Saturday, January 3, 2009
The Best Resolution Is None At All
Some people get wired about Christmas, others Valentine's Day...but for me...New Years sends me right over the edge! New Years is the dreaded resolution time..."I promise to be a better person"..."be more organized"..."volunteer somewhere"..."make lemons out of lemonade"..."be kind to myself"...whatever. Every year, I discover myself just as fat...if not fatter...FATTER. I feel a tremendous disappointment in myself....a failure....a swelling of the waste line...tighter clothes...MISERY. I reflect back on the year before, the resolution I made…and my failure to lose weight….again! The most common New Years resolutions involve weight loss and/or fitness...and I have been making that resolution every year since Christ was a cowboy. The 60 billion dollar weight loss industry depends on that failure.
Then, to add insult to injury I am bombarded every New Years with TV and magazine ads and marketing blasts for weight loss pills, lotions, potions and creams, weight loss gizmos and contraptions that resemble torture devices from the dark ages, sweat machines, bum jiggles thingy, miracle balls, fat patches…you name it or dream of it and it does exist! I recently saw a product on TV that was a rip-off of the Bugs Bunny weight loss method. Remember Bugs in that big steam machine with just his head peeking out…then the steam and them shazam….Bugs Bunny was only teeny tiny! I can’t believe they sell these things! I cannot believe that people believe that a big fat hairy bearded woman becomes a slim and trim bikini clad beauty by taking some speed…oops diet pills. It is so obvious that the before picture is not the same as the after woman…but people are buying this crap…including me!
I am embarrassed to say that I have spent more than a small fortune in many of these products hoping and praying that this will be THE ONE. I have tried the typical Weight Watchers, and also took handfuls of pills. Let’s see there were the grapefruit pills, apple cider vinegar pills, fiber pills, dexatrim, xendarine, ephedrine, chromium pills, mega-multi vitamin pills, detoxification pills, thyroid boost pills…and many more. I also wore a fat patch…that was supposed to melt the fat right off….it didn’t. Then I tried Nutrisystem weekly weigh in and astronaut food. That one worked well because I did not have to prepare and it was just add water! I tried Simply for Life….that was a good diet… I did lose 50 pounds… but once I ran out of money I quickly gained it all back quickly. I do not place blame on any of the plans, pills or contraptions.
There is no secret potion or contraption. The secret to weight loss is eating less and moving more. That is it….it is no secret at all. This year I wanted a resolution of substance instead of my usual lose weight one. I’ve decided the best one by far is NO RESOLUTION. I am not setting myself up for a self-inflicted beating next year.
Lynn
;)
Then, to add insult to injury I am bombarded every New Years with TV and magazine ads and marketing blasts for weight loss pills, lotions, potions and creams, weight loss gizmos and contraptions that resemble torture devices from the dark ages, sweat machines, bum jiggles thingy, miracle balls, fat patches…you name it or dream of it and it does exist! I recently saw a product on TV that was a rip-off of the Bugs Bunny weight loss method. Remember Bugs in that big steam machine with just his head peeking out…then the steam and them shazam….Bugs Bunny was only teeny tiny! I can’t believe they sell these things! I cannot believe that people believe that a big fat hairy bearded woman becomes a slim and trim bikini clad beauty by taking some speed…oops diet pills. It is so obvious that the before picture is not the same as the after woman…but people are buying this crap…including me!
I am embarrassed to say that I have spent more than a small fortune in many of these products hoping and praying that this will be THE ONE. I have tried the typical Weight Watchers, and also took handfuls of pills. Let’s see there were the grapefruit pills, apple cider vinegar pills, fiber pills, dexatrim, xendarine, ephedrine, chromium pills, mega-multi vitamin pills, detoxification pills, thyroid boost pills…and many more. I also wore a fat patch…that was supposed to melt the fat right off….it didn’t. Then I tried Nutrisystem weekly weigh in and astronaut food. That one worked well because I did not have to prepare and it was just add water! I tried Simply for Life….that was a good diet… I did lose 50 pounds… but once I ran out of money I quickly gained it all back quickly. I do not place blame on any of the plans, pills or contraptions.
There is no secret potion or contraption. The secret to weight loss is eating less and moving more. That is it….it is no secret at all. This year I wanted a resolution of substance instead of my usual lose weight one. I’ve decided the best one by far is NO RESOLUTION. I am not setting myself up for a self-inflicted beating next year.
Lynn
;)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Count Your Blessings
Every year, Christmas provides us with a spiritual reality check. You cannot help but to be reminded of how fortunate you are to have a roof over your head, family, friends, and health. Television adds to that ‘fuzzy’ feeling by featuring surreal stories of tragedies followed by remarkable acts of heroism and giving… children who think of and act on worldly ideas… and miraculous events. As the rituals and festivities come to a close…you cannot help but to reflect on the past and count your blessings.
Twelve years ago, I was in a car accident that screwed up my back. I ended up being put off of work for two years and chewing pain pills like crazy. I would easily go through 100 Tylenol #3’s and tons of muscle relaxants every month. I was off of work for almost 2 years…but I was super busy during that time going to Dr. appointments, physiotherapy, kinesiology, acupuncture, massage, and the gym. In between appointments I parked myself on the couch and felt extremely sorry for myself. How dare the world continue turning while I was in tremendous pain? Nursing was my life, and all of a sudden it was ripped out from under me. I also was forced to realize that nursing was my life…and nothing else.
One Christmas I went home (90 miles away) and my back was killing me. Driving and sitting still makes my back spasm and act up. Anyway, when I got home I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but my pain. I lied flat on my back on the hardwood floor writhing and whining. My sister, Lori was sitting in a chair nearby. She is an amputee. When her leg was amputated, there was some nerve damage which results in a subsequent a non-stop ‘pins and needles’ tingling that would drive a saint to drink…but she NEVER complains! To alleviate her pins and needles and sometimes throbbing, she taps away on the stump. So, here she is looking down at me…tapping away…and she says “oh baby I hate to see you in so much pain”. I was sick to my stomach and disgusted with myself. Here I was with 2 feet and a heartbeat…no missing limbs or debilitating illness…whining about a little back pain. Lori was sincere with her comment…but it was an over due reality slap for me. I vowed from that day forward…no more outward displays for sympathy from me!
I decided that if I was going to be in pain all of the time, I may as well do fun stuff and have pain. I managed to get back to work. I wanted more to life than nursing so I got back into skiing…my FAVORITE activity. I started going to the gym, walking, going out and dancing, anything and everything. I was still chewing on pills like candy back then…but I was having fun too instead of wallowing in self pity. As the years passed, I decided that the pills were doing more harm than good and holding me back…like a security blanket…so I weaned myself off of all of them. Now, I exercise, use heat and take the occasion Tylenol and Advil. That’s it. Thankfully, I have way more ‘good’ days than ‘bad’ ones. The only time somebody knows my back is bothering me is when they can see it in my facial expressions…which is rare.
Last night (Christmas Eve) I went to a place I know well. It is like a perpetual basement party where all the strays meet to eat, drink, be merry and play some kick ass pool at all hours. Somehow, the car accident came up and I told the story again…it was my first date with the man who is now my husband. I tell the story….but focus more on the events of the day and the tragedy of missing the Lynard Skynard/ Doobie Brothers concert…and my new car being written off with little mention of my back. While I am telling the story, there is a 20 year old man stuck in a 72 year old decrepit arthritis filled body shooting a game of pool. He walks like his right hip is 6 inches higher than his left hip…oh right…it is…every step requires a swing to gain momentum to move forward. The other guy playing is also a child trapped in a man’s body…but this body is rattled with the nastiest case of rheumatoid arthritis ever seen. This man has to roll back and forth many times to gain momentum to get out of bed. The entire world looks different to him as getting in the shower, going to the bathroom and/or opening a can of soup is a major daily obstacle to overcome. The arthritis has forced him into a perpetual slumped posture, curled knuckles and fingers and it has now claimed his hip. He can barely walk…but when he plays pool…it is simply the table and he…this man NEVER EVER complains….EVER. Can you imagine how ridiculous my little back pain issue would sound here?
All of the others around the table at the basement party have a story to tell…but they don’t. As an empathic person…I look around the table wondering what their stories would entail. Why are they here in the basement of strays on Christmas Eve? One man is missing an arm, another is severely drunk, and another is a work horse who is in his late 60’s with a battered body full of ‘battle scars’ related to years of abuse and injuries. BUT, they are all smiling and telling crazy stories and laughing…waiting for their turn to annihilate the billiards competition. Nobody was discussing bills or health issues or what or who they didn’t have….they simply enjoyed the moment. This IS what Christmas is all about….good friends, good times…just being together…letting loose and laughing together. An “off 4 banks” shot is called…and the 8 ball miraculously sinks as it was commanded. The pool played here is WAY above professional ranks and really something special to see!
On another note, I have also just learned that friend has a rare and terminal cancer. She has already lost a brother at a young age to cancer, and a father and a step father…now it is her turn. I bumped into her last week while Christmas shopping and she never mentioned it at all. She smiled form ear to ear, hugged me tightly and told me how much she missed me at work. She has an amazingly beautiful soul who makes me feel like the sun shines out my ass everytime I see her. I found out about her illness from somebody else days later. There wasn’t an ounce of self pity there…there wasn’t a tear in her eye…there was absolutely no clue coming from her about her fate….in fact, she glowed!
All of these little stories lead up into the BIG picture…my reality check. While I obsess about my weight…people out there who have reason to suffer and wallow in self pity…do not. I get sick at the thought of buying a bigger size…or nothing fitting. I beat the hell out of myself for missing the gym, or eating a chocolate. I obsess about eating too much when there is someone with nothing to eat. I get mad for missing the gym when there are people who cannot walk. I worry about fitting into a specific size and number on the scales…when someone I know has their days on earth being numbered. I have a beautiful home, a business, nursing career, healthy family, great friends and… a weight problem? That sounds really stupid in the grand scheme of the universe doesn’t it? This year, I will focus on counting my blessings…not calories. Wish me luck!
Lynn
;)
Twelve years ago, I was in a car accident that screwed up my back. I ended up being put off of work for two years and chewing pain pills like crazy. I would easily go through 100 Tylenol #3’s and tons of muscle relaxants every month. I was off of work for almost 2 years…but I was super busy during that time going to Dr. appointments, physiotherapy, kinesiology, acupuncture, massage, and the gym. In between appointments I parked myself on the couch and felt extremely sorry for myself. How dare the world continue turning while I was in tremendous pain? Nursing was my life, and all of a sudden it was ripped out from under me. I also was forced to realize that nursing was my life…and nothing else.
One Christmas I went home (90 miles away) and my back was killing me. Driving and sitting still makes my back spasm and act up. Anyway, when I got home I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but my pain. I lied flat on my back on the hardwood floor writhing and whining. My sister, Lori was sitting in a chair nearby. She is an amputee. When her leg was amputated, there was some nerve damage which results in a subsequent a non-stop ‘pins and needles’ tingling that would drive a saint to drink…but she NEVER complains! To alleviate her pins and needles and sometimes throbbing, she taps away on the stump. So, here she is looking down at me…tapping away…and she says “oh baby I hate to see you in so much pain”. I was sick to my stomach and disgusted with myself. Here I was with 2 feet and a heartbeat…no missing limbs or debilitating illness…whining about a little back pain. Lori was sincere with her comment…but it was an over due reality slap for me. I vowed from that day forward…no more outward displays for sympathy from me!
I decided that if I was going to be in pain all of the time, I may as well do fun stuff and have pain. I managed to get back to work. I wanted more to life than nursing so I got back into skiing…my FAVORITE activity. I started going to the gym, walking, going out and dancing, anything and everything. I was still chewing on pills like candy back then…but I was having fun too instead of wallowing in self pity. As the years passed, I decided that the pills were doing more harm than good and holding me back…like a security blanket…so I weaned myself off of all of them. Now, I exercise, use heat and take the occasion Tylenol and Advil. That’s it. Thankfully, I have way more ‘good’ days than ‘bad’ ones. The only time somebody knows my back is bothering me is when they can see it in my facial expressions…which is rare.
Last night (Christmas Eve) I went to a place I know well. It is like a perpetual basement party where all the strays meet to eat, drink, be merry and play some kick ass pool at all hours. Somehow, the car accident came up and I told the story again…it was my first date with the man who is now my husband. I tell the story….but focus more on the events of the day and the tragedy of missing the Lynard Skynard/ Doobie Brothers concert…and my new car being written off with little mention of my back. While I am telling the story, there is a 20 year old man stuck in a 72 year old decrepit arthritis filled body shooting a game of pool. He walks like his right hip is 6 inches higher than his left hip…oh right…it is…every step requires a swing to gain momentum to move forward. The other guy playing is also a child trapped in a man’s body…but this body is rattled with the nastiest case of rheumatoid arthritis ever seen. This man has to roll back and forth many times to gain momentum to get out of bed. The entire world looks different to him as getting in the shower, going to the bathroom and/or opening a can of soup is a major daily obstacle to overcome. The arthritis has forced him into a perpetual slumped posture, curled knuckles and fingers and it has now claimed his hip. He can barely walk…but when he plays pool…it is simply the table and he…this man NEVER EVER complains….EVER. Can you imagine how ridiculous my little back pain issue would sound here?
All of the others around the table at the basement party have a story to tell…but they don’t. As an empathic person…I look around the table wondering what their stories would entail. Why are they here in the basement of strays on Christmas Eve? One man is missing an arm, another is severely drunk, and another is a work horse who is in his late 60’s with a battered body full of ‘battle scars’ related to years of abuse and injuries. BUT, they are all smiling and telling crazy stories and laughing…waiting for their turn to annihilate the billiards competition. Nobody was discussing bills or health issues or what or who they didn’t have….they simply enjoyed the moment. This IS what Christmas is all about….good friends, good times…just being together…letting loose and laughing together. An “off 4 banks” shot is called…and the 8 ball miraculously sinks as it was commanded. The pool played here is WAY above professional ranks and really something special to see!
On another note, I have also just learned that friend has a rare and terminal cancer. She has already lost a brother at a young age to cancer, and a father and a step father…now it is her turn. I bumped into her last week while Christmas shopping and she never mentioned it at all. She smiled form ear to ear, hugged me tightly and told me how much she missed me at work. She has an amazingly beautiful soul who makes me feel like the sun shines out my ass everytime I see her. I found out about her illness from somebody else days later. There wasn’t an ounce of self pity there…there wasn’t a tear in her eye…there was absolutely no clue coming from her about her fate….in fact, she glowed!
All of these little stories lead up into the BIG picture…my reality check. While I obsess about my weight…people out there who have reason to suffer and wallow in self pity…do not. I get sick at the thought of buying a bigger size…or nothing fitting. I beat the hell out of myself for missing the gym, or eating a chocolate. I obsess about eating too much when there is someone with nothing to eat. I get mad for missing the gym when there are people who cannot walk. I worry about fitting into a specific size and number on the scales…when someone I know has their days on earth being numbered. I have a beautiful home, a business, nursing career, healthy family, great friends and… a weight problem? That sounds really stupid in the grand scheme of the universe doesn’t it? This year, I will focus on counting my blessings…not calories. Wish me luck!
Is there anything worse than being blind? Yes, a man with sight and no vision.-Helen Keller
Lynn
;)
Monday, December 22, 2008
The Importance of Wearing Pants
I have always felt 'confined' in my clothes. Ever since I was little...as soon as I get in the door..clothes come off! Now, as an adult the bra is whipped right over my head and slung shot across the room...immediately. (Bras are inhumane... torture devices in my opinion...).I strip down into my pyjamas...regardless of time of day and just breathe...cozy as a bug in a rug!
I have been working from home for 3 years now. It sounds absolutely dreamy...but it is not all that it is cracked up to be. I must say that owning my own business...and watching it grow from a concept to reality to internationally known is a 'thrill.' I have been living my dream of being my own boss, and self scheduling.I get up and lie down as I please..and squeeze in everything that has to get done in between. Because we have an online business, we work in a virtual office...everything is done by phone, Internet, web conference...rarely in person. As wonderful as this sounds...there is an incredible danger to this lifestyle...NO PANTS Required.I have participated in many business meetings via teleconference in my pyjamas. I have done webinars (online educational sessions) in my nighties. I have even gone so far as to dress from the waist up...lips and pearls and everything...for video conferences..with no pants...just PJ bottoms! I have been caught in my PJ's by the couriers (FedEx, Purolator, DHL).Oops!
Starting your own business is both scary and exciting! The downside is it takes a LOT of work in a short amount of time! Over the first couple of years, my business partner and I kept psychotic and unreasonable hours. As we struggled to meet deadlines....more projects with closer deadlines would appear. We would get it done...and this was all good from a business perspective but very detrimental to my health. You would think that because I can chose to fill my days as I please...and not having to answer to anyone...that I would be able to get to the gym, go for walks and so on. BUT, that quickly turned into "as soon as I get this done"...and then suddenly it would be 1am! I tried setting exercise time into my agenda...but an important phone call would come in or a huge project diversion...and I would promise myself...tomorrow.
Since I was not accountable to anyone, and lived day by day as per my agenda, I totally lost track of all days. I would have to ask my husband often "what day is this?" He would try to recite the date and I would say "not the date...what day of the week is it?". Another danger of not having structure is diet. I am not talking about a weight loss diet...I am simply referring to healthy eating. Hours could go by and I would not eat. Then, starving...I would make bad choices. I would catch myself feeling wonky or having a headache...and then discover that 8 hours have gone by...and 12 cups of coffee later that I haven't eaten! Everyone knows if you do not eat regularly that can lead to many health and weight issues....which it has. I have gained 60 pounds and I now have diabetes (diet controlled, weight related). I have easily smoked a full package of cigarettes a day...sometimes on very stressful days I have even smoked two!!! Ironically, I was writing educational courses for nurses....about cardiac risk factors at the worst of it.
The MOST dangerous side effect of working home alone, losing track of time and days... by far is living pant-less. When I started this business I was 60 pounds lighter! I went form running my ass off as a nurse to working from home on my butt. Add stress to social isolation and you've got yourself an emotional eating wreck. Once every couple of months I would travel for conferences and/or speaking engagements...and I would be so distressed about nothing fitting. I would make a life altering pledge...but again I got so busy I never got around to it. Then, one day..I had to put on pants and nothing fit..not even close. My PJ pants were skin tight and painful....my stretchy pants fought back...what a reality slap!
As Dr. Phil would say...."how's that working for ya?" It wasn't. So along came the goal of my mini triathlon, the 100 pound journey and my blog. I am pleased to have a goal with a deadline.I cannot say tight pants "hurt so good!". I also have decided to go back to work at the hospital in nursing part time...to have some structure, much needed socialization and a daily wardrobe requirements. I will know what day it is...I will have scheduled meal breaks. I will get to see my friends again. I am eager to simply 'move' on a regular basis. I will still be busy with the company in between... but once you get moving it is easier to keep moving. My best advice to anyone planning to work from home and to everyone out there during the Christmas holidays...where you can easily lose track of time and calories... is to put on your pants everyday!
Lynn
;)
I have been working from home for 3 years now. It sounds absolutely dreamy...but it is not all that it is cracked up to be. I must say that owning my own business...and watching it grow from a concept to reality to internationally known is a 'thrill.' I have been living my dream of being my own boss, and self scheduling.I get up and lie down as I please..and squeeze in everything that has to get done in between. Because we have an online business, we work in a virtual office...everything is done by phone, Internet, web conference...rarely in person. As wonderful as this sounds...there is an incredible danger to this lifestyle...NO PANTS Required.I have participated in many business meetings via teleconference in my pyjamas. I have done webinars (online educational sessions) in my nighties. I have even gone so far as to dress from the waist up...lips and pearls and everything...for video conferences..with no pants...just PJ bottoms! I have been caught in my PJ's by the couriers (FedEx, Purolator, DHL).Oops!
Starting your own business is both scary and exciting! The downside is it takes a LOT of work in a short amount of time! Over the first couple of years, my business partner and I kept psychotic and unreasonable hours. As we struggled to meet deadlines....more projects with closer deadlines would appear. We would get it done...and this was all good from a business perspective but very detrimental to my health. You would think that because I can chose to fill my days as I please...and not having to answer to anyone...that I would be able to get to the gym, go for walks and so on. BUT, that quickly turned into "as soon as I get this done"...and then suddenly it would be 1am! I tried setting exercise time into my agenda...but an important phone call would come in or a huge project diversion...and I would promise myself...tomorrow.
Since I was not accountable to anyone, and lived day by day as per my agenda, I totally lost track of all days. I would have to ask my husband often "what day is this?" He would try to recite the date and I would say "not the date...what day of the week is it?". Another danger of not having structure is diet. I am not talking about a weight loss diet...I am simply referring to healthy eating. Hours could go by and I would not eat. Then, starving...I would make bad choices. I would catch myself feeling wonky or having a headache...and then discover that 8 hours have gone by...and 12 cups of coffee later that I haven't eaten! Everyone knows if you do not eat regularly that can lead to many health and weight issues....which it has. I have gained 60 pounds and I now have diabetes (diet controlled, weight related). I have easily smoked a full package of cigarettes a day...sometimes on very stressful days I have even smoked two!!! Ironically, I was writing educational courses for nurses....about cardiac risk factors at the worst of it.
The MOST dangerous side effect of working home alone, losing track of time and days... by far is living pant-less. When I started this business I was 60 pounds lighter! I went form running my ass off as a nurse to working from home on my butt. Add stress to social isolation and you've got yourself an emotional eating wreck. Once every couple of months I would travel for conferences and/or speaking engagements...and I would be so distressed about nothing fitting. I would make a life altering pledge...but again I got so busy I never got around to it. Then, one day..I had to put on pants and nothing fit..not even close. My PJ pants were skin tight and painful....my stretchy pants fought back...what a reality slap!
As Dr. Phil would say...."how's that working for ya?" It wasn't. So along came the goal of my mini triathlon, the 100 pound journey and my blog. I am pleased to have a goal with a deadline.I cannot say tight pants "hurt so good!". I also have decided to go back to work at the hospital in nursing part time...to have some structure, much needed socialization and a daily wardrobe requirements. I will know what day it is...I will have scheduled meal breaks. I will get to see my friends again. I am eager to simply 'move' on a regular basis. I will still be busy with the company in between... but once you get moving it is easier to keep moving. My best advice to anyone planning to work from home and to everyone out there during the Christmas holidays...where you can easily lose track of time and calories... is to put on your pants everyday!
One way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life.
Cyril Connolly
Lynn
;)
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Finding Freddie
When I was young I had a little French boyfriend named Freddie. Freddie and I ruled the world back in the day...well I did and he went along with it...for fear I would beat him up, or worse...make him kiss me! Freddie and me were outside all the time...from the second we got up until our mothers dragged us in after dark. We played dinky toys, explorers of the earth, Cowboys and Indians, Johnny and Roy (Emergency...for those of you who are old enough),raided gardens, and much more! We biked all over hell's creation, went to the frog pond, climbed cliffs (which actually turns out to be a very small rock wall...but it was HUGE back then!). I even made Freddy play Barbies (basically with a gun to his head- kiss threat).We basically 'played ourselves out' everyday! I had to most wonderful childhood with Freddie.
In the winter time, Freddie and I were out all day again and drug in against our will at night. We went sliding, built snowmen and forts, had snowball fights, or just plain old played in the snow. Our yard was huge so Dad had it plowed. Every snowstorm that plow left us kids the most amazing natural 'toy' you could imagine....a HUGE big ass hill of snow...right in our yard! One year my sister and her friends created this amazing snow house. They dug from high up so you had to climb some snow stairs and slide into the fort on your belly...from the top. They had dug out a room at least 10 feet wide and 10 feet high (in my little world anyway). It was a real IGLOO!!! I don't know if they poured water in it or what...but the inside of this fantastic fort was shiny and polished. They made ledges and had candles in there. It was a snow mansion! What a spot!
Every first snowfall I think about Freddie. Let me tell you why. I am sure everyone who reads this blog is of the era where all snowsuits were one piece. Getting dressed to go into the snow was a BIG arduous deal! You had to put on the long johns, undershirt, pants, sweater, double socks, step into that snowsuit with the elastic bands under your feet. Shove those damn 'snowmobile' boots on (the ones with the liners) and tie the damn things tight. Then a hat, then mittens. Well, one day Freddie came to collect me to play outside. I must have been over tired because on this particular day the 'snow suit' routine had me huffing and puffing, sweating, tired and UGLY! When I finally got outside...Freddie was nowhere to be seen. I searched everywhere and screamed for him...no answer. Then, I followed his footsteps to his door and rang the doorbell (he lived upstairs). There he was...undressed and inside!!!! I am living proof that you are 'born to be' because at 7 years old...without hesitation...I stormed up the stairs and drug him by the neck outside!! I wanted to KILL him! I 'allowed' him a few minutes to go back inside and get dressed...and within minutes we were playing and having fun again. (Sorry Freddie!)
That was our last winter together...Freddie's family moved away. I was never the same. I heard through the grapevine they moved because he told his Dad he couldn't play hockey anymore...because I wanted him to play Barbies! I found out years later that it wasn't my fault...they simply bought a house (they were renting an apartment from my parents). I wish somebody told me that when I was 7...it would have saved me a ton of counselling !!!
I wish as adults, that it was perfectly acceptable to go outside and 'play'...spend hours and hours in the snow for no reason. No television, no deadlines. I don't think there would be any problems with obesity if we all kept our childhood enthusiasm for snow. In fact, I find it almost tragic that the majority of us bitch and gripe about snow in the forecast, snow when it's snowing, and winter in general. Unless we live in the Caribbean, snow is a fact of life...at least 1/4 of our lives every year! What a shame everybody hates it! This year, my stepson had 2 room mates at university who had NEVER seen the snow. One was from India, the other from the Bahamas. The first snowfall of the year...they ran outside in a child-like wonder. They jumped up and down, stuck their tongues out to catch some flakes, made their first snowballs and snowmen and snow angels...and then rushed to call home to tell their parents all about it! Isn't that wonderful?
I have been lucky enough to maintain a child-like excitement whenever it snows...thanks to my days with Freddie. I love the bright and shiny diamonds that glimmer everywhere! I love how it makes the night glow bright. I love the calm and peaceful feeling right after a storm when nobody is around. So, tonight (as always when it snows) I go outside dressed to the max with my hubby Boo to 'play'. Thank God for 2 piece snow suits now!!!! Boo actually cleans out the driveway with the snow blower and I clean the stairs and car off. BUT, I still have that excitement in my belly...and we still fool around and giggle like kids. We usually make snow angels...well kind of...no snow angels tonight (bummer) because I didn't get the opportunity to tackle him into the ground tonight! I am still forcing boys to do what I want! Oddly enough, my husband is a little Frenchman that I 'bully'...and I force him to kiss me!!! I wonder if that has anything to do with finding my own little Freddie?
Lynn
;)
In the winter time, Freddie and I were out all day again and drug in against our will at night. We went sliding, built snowmen and forts, had snowball fights, or just plain old played in the snow. Our yard was huge so Dad had it plowed. Every snowstorm that plow left us kids the most amazing natural 'toy' you could imagine....a HUGE big ass hill of snow...right in our yard! One year my sister and her friends created this amazing snow house. They dug from high up so you had to climb some snow stairs and slide into the fort on your belly...from the top. They had dug out a room at least 10 feet wide and 10 feet high (in my little world anyway). It was a real IGLOO!!! I don't know if they poured water in it or what...but the inside of this fantastic fort was shiny and polished. They made ledges and had candles in there. It was a snow mansion! What a spot!
Every first snowfall I think about Freddie. Let me tell you why. I am sure everyone who reads this blog is of the era where all snowsuits were one piece. Getting dressed to go into the snow was a BIG arduous deal! You had to put on the long johns, undershirt, pants, sweater, double socks, step into that snowsuit with the elastic bands under your feet. Shove those damn 'snowmobile' boots on (the ones with the liners) and tie the damn things tight. Then a hat, then mittens. Well, one day Freddie came to collect me to play outside. I must have been over tired because on this particular day the 'snow suit' routine had me huffing and puffing, sweating, tired and UGLY! When I finally got outside...Freddie was nowhere to be seen. I searched everywhere and screamed for him...no answer. Then, I followed his footsteps to his door and rang the doorbell (he lived upstairs). There he was...undressed and inside!!!! I am living proof that you are 'born to be' because at 7 years old...without hesitation...I stormed up the stairs and drug him by the neck outside!! I wanted to KILL him! I 'allowed' him a few minutes to go back inside and get dressed...and within minutes we were playing and having fun again. (Sorry Freddie!)
That was our last winter together...Freddie's family moved away. I was never the same. I heard through the grapevine they moved because he told his Dad he couldn't play hockey anymore...because I wanted him to play Barbies! I found out years later that it wasn't my fault...they simply bought a house (they were renting an apartment from my parents). I wish somebody told me that when I was 7...it would have saved me a ton of counselling !!!
I wish as adults, that it was perfectly acceptable to go outside and 'play'...spend hours and hours in the snow for no reason. No television, no deadlines. I don't think there would be any problems with obesity if we all kept our childhood enthusiasm for snow. In fact, I find it almost tragic that the majority of us bitch and gripe about snow in the forecast, snow when it's snowing, and winter in general. Unless we live in the Caribbean, snow is a fact of life...at least 1/4 of our lives every year! What a shame everybody hates it! This year, my stepson had 2 room mates at university who had NEVER seen the snow. One was from India, the other from the Bahamas. The first snowfall of the year...they ran outside in a child-like wonder. They jumped up and down, stuck their tongues out to catch some flakes, made their first snowballs and snowmen and snow angels...and then rushed to call home to tell their parents all about it! Isn't that wonderful?
I have been lucky enough to maintain a child-like excitement whenever it snows...thanks to my days with Freddie. I love the bright and shiny diamonds that glimmer everywhere! I love how it makes the night glow bright. I love the calm and peaceful feeling right after a storm when nobody is around. So, tonight (as always when it snows) I go outside dressed to the max with my hubby Boo to 'play'. Thank God for 2 piece snow suits now!!!! Boo actually cleans out the driveway with the snow blower and I clean the stairs and car off. BUT, I still have that excitement in my belly...and we still fool around and giggle like kids. We usually make snow angels...well kind of...no snow angels tonight (bummer) because I didn't get the opportunity to tackle him into the ground tonight! I am still forcing boys to do what I want! Oddly enough, my husband is a little Frenchman that I 'bully'...and I force him to kiss me!!! I wonder if that has anything to do with finding my own little Freddie?
Lynn
;)
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Under the Wagon Wheel
This week end I fell off the wagon...I have slipped right underneath the wheel and into a muddy rut! On Friday night I was "jones-ing" for a Big Mac. This is quite strange because even if I do go to McDonald's I always get a Quarter Pounder meal. I cannot remember the last time I had a Big Mac. Either way, I was going crazy and obsessed with having a Big Mac. I tried all of the diet tricks and mental distraction methods I have learned over the years. I tried drinking a coffee, then crunched on carrot sticks, then made Crystal Lite, then unsalted peanuts...nothing was working. I let 4 hours pass and decided it was no longer a 'flash in the pan" evil thought...it was something that had to be dealt with. So, at 1 am, I trudged up to McDonald's and ordered my Big Mac meal...and a cheese burger...and a cinnamelt!!! The poor cheese burger didn't even make it to the end of the McDonald's driveway. In fact, I do not even recall eating it. I just remember looking down at the empty cheese burger wrapper and wondering where the heck did that go? I don't think I even bit into it... I just inhaled it. I call this my shark response. When sharks gorge on a feast, their eyelids close to prevent blood from the victim getting into their eyes. That was me. I was in such a frenzy...I missed it!
When I got home I slowly enjoyed the Big Mac experience. It was everything I thought it would be...and more! I was in heaven...for a very short time. Then, I savored the Cinnamelt bite for bite...super slow...then licked the packaging dry. I was high and happy for about...5 minutes. Then, the Mc Gurgles settled in...the sweats, the gastric distress...then the overwhelming anger, guilt and shame. I not only sinned...I double sinned by eating very badly at 1 am!!! What the hell was I thinking? (I wasn't thinking...I was like a zombie!).
The good thing is instead of throwing my hands in the air in despair and beating myself to death...I resolved to exercise twice as much the next day to work it off and to get back on track. I am human after all.I went for my weekly walk with my gal pal and step dogs. It was a great walk... as always. I was feeling alot better about myself! Then, I went directly to the store on the way home from the walk and bought cigarettes! I savored Tim Horton's coffee and then smoked and smoked and smoked some more! Instead of going to the gym as planned, I smoked and did nothing! Then, I had to go out for some toilet paper...and came home with chips, dip and a double Mars bar and Coca Cola! I killed the chip dip in about 6 scoops, drank 3 large glasses of coke, then both Mars bars. Again, I had the shark syndrome. I did not recall the actual eating of the treats...just the aftermath...then the overwhelming anger, guilt and shame.
Emotional eating literally BITES!Emotional eating — eating as a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions, such as stress, anger, anxiety, boredom, sadness and loneliness — is sabotaging my weight-loss efforts. I guess I have to do some deep soul searching to figure out why I continue to do this. I cannot pin point exactly why I do not seem to have any will power. I can't figure out why I can't stop smoking and stop eating. Am I just too hard on myself? Or, does everybody go through this? What the hell is wrong with me? Thank goodness I am still exercising...otherwise I would be 100 pounds heavier right now...which is how I feel with that big ass wagon wheel sitting on my chest!
“Willpower is the ability to eat one salted peanut.”
Lynn
;)
When I got home I slowly enjoyed the Big Mac experience. It was everything I thought it would be...and more! I was in heaven...for a very short time. Then, I savored the Cinnamelt bite for bite...super slow...then licked the packaging dry. I was high and happy for about...5 minutes. Then, the Mc Gurgles settled in...the sweats, the gastric distress...then the overwhelming anger, guilt and shame. I not only sinned...I double sinned by eating very badly at 1 am!!! What the hell was I thinking? (I wasn't thinking...I was like a zombie!).
The good thing is instead of throwing my hands in the air in despair and beating myself to death...I resolved to exercise twice as much the next day to work it off and to get back on track. I am human after all.I went for my weekly walk with my gal pal and step dogs. It was a great walk... as always. I was feeling alot better about myself! Then, I went directly to the store on the way home from the walk and bought cigarettes! I savored Tim Horton's coffee and then smoked and smoked and smoked some more! Instead of going to the gym as planned, I smoked and did nothing! Then, I had to go out for some toilet paper...and came home with chips, dip and a double Mars bar and Coca Cola! I killed the chip dip in about 6 scoops, drank 3 large glasses of coke, then both Mars bars. Again, I had the shark syndrome. I did not recall the actual eating of the treats...just the aftermath...then the overwhelming anger, guilt and shame.
Emotional eating literally BITES!Emotional eating — eating as a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions, such as stress, anger, anxiety, boredom, sadness and loneliness — is sabotaging my weight-loss efforts. I guess I have to do some deep soul searching to figure out why I continue to do this. I cannot pin point exactly why I do not seem to have any will power. I can't figure out why I can't stop smoking and stop eating. Am I just too hard on myself? Or, does everybody go through this? What the hell is wrong with me? Thank goodness I am still exercising...otherwise I would be 100 pounds heavier right now...which is how I feel with that big ass wagon wheel sitting on my chest!
“Willpower is the ability to eat one salted peanut.”
Lynn
;)
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