Chairway to Heaven

I am shocked that I not only can ski...but that I really LOVE to ski. I didn't start off too good. The first time I ever went skiing, was with my grade 12 advanced Phys ED class. Now, those who know me are giggling because I am not your typical advanced Phys Ed class kind of gal. In fact, I had to beg the teacher Mr. Jones to let me in the class. I convinced him that he would be responsible for my outlook on physical fitness for the rest of my life...he bought it hook, line and sinker. The real reason I wanted in the class was because it was a fun bird course, got me out of a hellish advanced biology course...and the class was full of HOT GUYS! Mr. Jones made me swear NO EXCUSES would be tolerated from me. I was all in or out! So, in I was!

The first quarter of the class involved swimming. That was a breeze for me because I have been swimming since I was 3 years old. One day, Mr. Jones took some of my class mates beneath the pool to look through the port holes in the deep end. I swam down and waved crazily at my friends in the port hole. Mr. Jones had a BIG dumb smile on his face and my friends looked mortified! I didn't know what their problem was...they kept waving frantically for me to go away! Then, in horror...I understood. My boobs (which are large and lovely) had sprung themselves free of my bathing suit!!! Yes, that's right...I flashed my grade 12 Phys Ed teacher. I wanted to die of embarrassment!I did get an A+ in that class though!

The next quarter of the class involved running. I was NEVER a running kind of gal. My gig was to run along at the back of the pack...take a short cut through the woods....sit and have a smoke until everyone ran by me...and then come in the back for a grand finale. Not bad...I managed a 15 minute mile with a smoke break in the middle....and most of the mile cut out of the distance. One day, Mr. Jones announced we were going to run an extra day that we were not supposed to. I told him I could not run as I needed an extra bra (for my large and lovely breasts). Back in those days there wasn't all those fancy bras for running. Mr. Jones quickly reminded me of my NO EXCUSE clause and he made me run. I ran...and ended up tearing my right tit. Yes, you read it right...I ripped my right tit. It was hanging WAY long like past my waste band and hurt like hell. I had to go to the ER and I ended up with a boob wrap and antibiotics for a week. My mother wrote an excuse for Mr.Jones as I was not allowed to run for 2 weeks. It read " Dear Mr. Jones, lease excuse Lynn from running for the next 2 weeks inclusively as yesterday she ripped her tit during the run". I wanted to die of embarrassment! With the same big dumb smile as the pool porthole fiasco...Mr. Jones told me at the 10 year reunion that he had that excuse framed and it was proudly displayed in his recreation room.

Then, we went downhill skiing as a class. I was one of only a few who did not drop acid. For those of you unfamiliar with the term...I did not take the LSD like others on the bus. The ones who took the acid did an amazing job at skiing. They went to the top, tucked and flew down the hill laughing all the way! I did not fare so well. I got the purple dot required to go on the big chair...but fell at the top...could not get up and ended up being taken down the hill by snow mobile...after it took 3 beefy men to pick me up! I was too weak. I cried all day in the lodge. I was so embarrassed. It was even more embarrassing that Paulo from the Philippines who had never touched or seen snow ever in his life skied just fine! I wanted to die of embarrassment!

So, years later when I was invited by a fellow nurse to go skiing...I have no idea what happened but I instantly said yes! I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I went...but her patient teaching methods and my performance made me fall in love with the sport. Skiing also turned out to be a great bonding time for new friends. When I first moved to my new town, I hooked on to a new group of friends to ski. I was NOT good at it for many years....in fact, I ususally was the entertainment in the group with my @#%$&'d ski methods. I have some pretty crazy moments and stories to tell about those days too! One of my favorite was going with group of health care professionals....taking on ski jump like I was a pro...which I was NOT...flying in the air really high...having a ridiculous look of shock on my face...landing with a very loud thump...having the wind knocked out of me...and none of the health care professionals asking if I was OK...because they were all laughing hysterically...totally out of control hysterical laughter. One Respiratory Therapist almost peed his pants...and still giggles every time he sees me 15 years later! To this day, anyone in the group will laugh out loud at the mention of my ski jumping talent (or lack thereof).

Now, fifteen Years later, I am skiing black diamond runs and I am still amazed to be doing it. I am still not great...I won;t be getting any medals anytime soon...but I LOVE it! My teeth hurt because I smile all the way down to the bottom. The scenery takes my breath away. Sometimes I giggle like a school girl....alot of times actually. I almost feel like I could reach out and touch a cloud or heaven when I am at the top of a mountain. It is always surreal to me...never boring or taken for granted. I wish for everyone a sport or hobby or something that gives them a heavenly feeling like this!

I finally realized, my task was not to figure out the one answer but to learn how to live...
—Marjorie Williams

Lynn
;)