Girls STILL Just Wanna Have Fun!

Get a gang of girls together and you can expect wild parties, uncensored mischief, and loads of fun. Girls know how to have fun with their "buddies." Boys may go watch a football match or drool over a swanky new car, but girls have a rocking time just chatting. My step daughter has recently been hanging around our house on Thursday and Friday nights to go partying. She lives in the country, and we live handy to the hottest club in town. Over the last couple of week ends, she brings along a friend or two (or three or four) and they spend hours preparing for the night...sipping on their fruity drinks...asking my opinion on what to wear, hair styles (up or down, bangs or not),jewelry... boy strategy...you name it. I love it! I would KILL to go out with them...but not as a 41 year old...I want to go out as that wild and crazy 20 year old again.

I have been reflecting on my clubbing days in the 1980's and I discovered I am a wild and crazy 20-year-old '80's' girl...trapped in 41 year old body! Oh how I wish I could go back one day to spend hours teasing my hair to reach death defying heights, spraying on a healthy coat of 'ice mist' to ensure a hurricane couldn't move a single strand of hair, painting the face in bright technicolor neon purples, donning funky too-tight 80's garb...and belting out 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' while we sucked back as much liquor as possible and laughed our guts out along the way. Dressed to the nines and drunk as hell, we would make our way to 'The Lighthouse' and then always end up at the '1880's' club. One of my favorite nights was ladies night...75 cents a drink...no men allowed upstairs until we were all hammered enough to find them attractive (just joking).

You cannot deny that 80's fashion was by far the funnest and coolest in it's day. One of my favorite outfits involved skin tight purple jeans that were 3 sizes too small...with my open shouldered hot pink sweatshirt (Flashdance style)and double round the hips pink belt. One night, the zipper finally got fed up with me and gave way. This was NOT going to spoil my night....I managed to safety pin the zipper back in...and looked fabulous...despite an overflowing bladder and some very painful jabs and stabs from rogue safety pins throughout the night in my 'hoo hoo'! Another night, I was wearing my smokin' hot red dress with a big ass wide black belt and super high black heels. I was approached by some dude who said 'my brother and I have been watching you all night'. I was not surprised...I was one HOT chick...then he ruined it by saying ' He thinks that you're chunky...but I'd do you anyway'. This ignoramus didn't phase me at all...I just threw my 75 cent drink in his face...and continued on my extremely confident prowl...best 75 cents I ever wasted! I was 100 pounds lighter and I looked and felt amazing. Drunk or not, I walked around that club like I owned it. I always felt like a million bucks!

The sisterhood of the traveling pants is actually based on the true phenomenon of girls recycling outfits (my theory). My step daughter carefully selects outfits that she does not want anyone else to look good in...and hides them in my room. Then,when the posse of girls arrive...chaos ensues! Just before going out there is a humongous pile of clothes on the floor and each girl has tried on no less than a dozen different outfits! Back in our day...we had a sassy black dress with deep cleavage and rouging all up the center of the dress that clung to each of our curves 'just right'. I still have no idea how we all managed to squeeze into this magical dress...all shapes and sizes of us...big and small. I still believe it had magical qualities. Girls with no boobs had kick ass cleavage....girls with booty had perky booty... anyone in that dress was the SEX BOMB!WHO HAS THIS DRESS? I want it back! On my 19th birthday, I slid down the banister of the infamous stairway of the 1880's in this traveling dress....not too lady like as the dress rode up and above my hips on the way down...but it got a good laugh of hysteria from my crew...just before I got booted out...again! Every week, the bouncer would say 'Lynn you'd better behave yourself!'. I would swear to a well behaved night...well...you know the rest.

Back in the day, everyone got ready at my house. Every week end I am reminded of what my parents had to go through with us gals. But, I don't mind it at all. I feel young again...and I smile inside recalling all the fun times I had with my crew. My step daughter and her friends love to hear my stories...or at least they are polite enough to sit through them!! My mother would pour our drinks for us...2 fingers high...vertical, not horizontal! For those of you with no connection to girls of clubbing age...they are still wearing painful high heels and too-tight clothes for the sake of fashion...big hair and psychotically HUGE earrings (which I would have KILLED for in the 80's), no coats in freezing cold weather (many nights we stumbled hammered through blizzards with no coats and high heels)....and they still giggle and squeal (and stumble and fall)like fools on their way to the cab. Way too early the next morning, Mom and Dad would blare country music throughout the house,and wake us up...and offer my girlfriend (the PUKER of the group) some nice fresh runny eggs....you know the next part. Despite knowing what we were in for...or better yet...knowing what we were in for...we would wake up severely hung over...and do it all over again! I am itching for another crazy night with my gal pals...of course our hair will be flatter...and shorter...outfits a little more sociably acceptable (probably still tighter than I would like)...but there is still PLENTY left in me...to chat and giggle like a fool. Oh the good ole days...Girls STILL Just Wanna Have Fun!!! Maybe we could have an 80's theme party!!!

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass."
Maya Angelou

Lynn
;)

Cocoon to Social Butterfly

When I was a young nurse, I was’ bright eyed and bushy tailed’, ready to take the world by storm. I quickly voiced my opinions and rallied for change. I believed in action, not reaction. I could not understand the resistance that I had met along the way. All I ever wanted was to make our profession better. Unfortunately, I became a scape goat for negativity. I was confused and disappointed. How could I have been perceived as exactly what I have learned to hate? Much to my demise, my passion for change turned into rage and years of frustration.

A couple of years ago, I broke 4 teeth from grinding in them in my sleep. I was not sleeping well and I would cry at the drop of a hat. I reached ‘the point of no return’ and I didn’t have the energy to turn around. I found getting out of bed to go to work challenging. I noticed that I would become anxious days before my shifts. I knew that I was ‘burnt out’. I tried to ignore it. But my body would not allow me too. This burn out spilled over into my personal life. I am normally an outgoing and sociable person, but I began to withdraw and avoid social situations. I knew that I needed to do something. In the past, I would apply for another job and move on. However, I discovered that this ‘band aid’ only lasted for a short time. What on earth was I going to do?

Suddenly, a once in a lifetime opportunity came up to start my business, an online education company for the professional development of nurses(MedSenses.com). I very happily walked out of the hospital doors with no intention of ever looking back. I cut myself off from the world and I submerged myself in getting my business going. I was on the laptop for 16 hour days...sometimes more in a flurry to write courses and edits and networking and so on. Three years later,a wake up call happened in the form of an e mail from the hospital telling me that my leave for entrepreneurship was over and I had to resign or come back. Three isolated years had passed me by. I wasn't answering the phone, I refused coffee invites, I didn't speak to anyone. I realized I was profoundly lonely. The social butterfly shut herself down into a cocoon. My hubby said " I want my wife back". So, with that...back to the hospital I went.

Well....smooth move ex lax! Last night at work I felt like Mick Jagger at the Dollarama! Everywhere I went I was enthusiastically hugged and welcomed back. There was the buzz of activity as everyone was excited to see me again...and vice versa. How on earth could I have forgotten all about them. How on earth did I walk out and totally forget about all of them? How could I forget how alive these people made me feel? They were the best audience I have ever had for my 'stand up' routines and crazy stories. Yeah sure, there were pscyh patients going wild, code troubles, code browns (stool incontinence), people ragging...but that's where stories are made! Hey Mick...kiss my ass!


“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”

Lynn
;)

Girlfriends are Like a Bouquet of Flowers

When I got married I gave a speech explaining how my life is like my bouquet of flowers. I said " Forrest Gump once said that life is like a box of chocolates. I would like to compare my life to my beautiful bouquet of flowers. Each friend that has come into my life represents a flower in my bouquet. Each friend adds their unique personality and color which blends together to form this beautiful bouquet I call my life."

When I left the hospital to pursue my dream of becoming a business woman I was thrilled to walk out and never look back. Over the next 3 years my physical and emotional health deteriorated as I worked day in and day out on the laptop writing courses and building the business. In 3 short years, I gained 60 pounds, my complexion rotted and turned gray, and I basically lived life at a dizzying pace....I also lost my focus and purpose...ignored and back benched the people who gave me a purpose in life.

Working at home sounds amazing....but it isn't. I was too busy to notice life going by. It was as if 3 years simply disappeared and one day I woke up feeling profoundly lonely. When I walked out of the hospital...I left my community...I walked away from friends who I shared my last 15 years of life with...I walked out on the audience who listened to my crazy stories and adventures....people who inspired me and supported me when times were tough. Despite walking out on them...with no intention of ever looking back...there they were...waiting with open arms for my return...again we just fell into place as if we never lost a day.

Every time the phone would ring I felt it was a nuisance and an intrusion on my life. I was angry that people wouldn't leave me alone when I had so much to get done. Slowly, over time...I realized that I was never going to be done. There will always be deadlines to meet and stuff to be done. Thankfully, my friends never gave up on me.

I have a life long friend visiting with me this week. Despite living far away, it is like we are never apart. It is so fabulous to be able to simply sit around and be comfortable...no uncomfortable pauses...no rush to be somewhere or pressure to be anyone else but me. It doesn't matter how many months have passed or what is going on in our lives....when we get together it is like 2 puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. We are automatically in sync... we start out with a big hug and then flop into the couch and share, sit, eat, whatever...just a blissful glow of energy as life goes on around us...like there hasn't been a geographical interruption.

This can also be said of friends gone by who have wandered back into my life by chance. I have a girlfriend where 2 years can go by...where we do not see each other, and we simply fall into place...in sync...like 2 puzzle pieces that belong together. We always have lots of fun! One night, she invited an old friend from high school over for an exquisite meal,evening of drinks and laughter on her deck. It was so cool because I had been thinking about this gal all day...and kaboom....there she was....invited by my friend...out of the blue....meant to be...miles apart but on the exact same wave length. On this night, we shared our goals and ideas, and subsequently inspired each other to follow our dreams. As cheesy as it sounds it truly was an amazing night under the stars. It was on this night...my blog was born!

Another consequential friend worked with me at the hospital for 15 years. We were simply acquaintances....said hello politely and enjoyed some simple chat. A year after she moved away, we connected online. We started writing to each other on a regular basis...sharing our dreams and disappointments in life....again...a judgment free forum to write our hearts out....and just be. In a short time, she has become such an important part of my life.

I am so blessed! I have other friends that come and go....move away but never leave me. My running buddy...someone I met at the back of the pack attempting to run... dared to move away on me (her husband was transferred). I have told her many times this should have been run by me first...because it turned my life upside down!I recently had lunch with her in her new town...again....time has passed...but we instantly connect like puzzle pieces and lapse back in time as if we saw each other yesterday. I miss her...but we always fall perfectly into that puzzle... as if there hasn't been a break at all.

You NEED girlfriends to survive... and thrive....to breathe...to be. A person is only complete when she has a true friend to understand her, to share all her passions and sorrows with, and to stand by her throughout her life. As I go through my life... these gorgeous, bright and inspirational flowers fall into this amazing bouquet of flowers I call my life. Friends add the color to your world!


"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."- Anais Nin

Lynn
;)

Follow Your Dream!

A month ago I was in a very deep and dark place. I was at my wit's end with weight gain and I just didn't feel like getting out of bed. My phone rang and the woman on the other end told me she was with the South Shore Women in Business Group and they were looking for a key note speaker for their conference, Spring to Success. I was stunned. I didn't have a topic, or price in mind or anything. I didn't even think to ask her where or how she found out about me. I agreed to it for a nominal fee as they were a non profit group and I am looking to break into the business. As usual, as soon as I hung up the phone I freaked out and asked myself what the hell I was thinking! Self doubt flooded my mind for the next month...right up until I delivered the speech actually.

I have always wanted to be a professional speaker. I wished and wished that I could do it 'someday' but I always had the hospital and work as an excuse (a crutch)...combined with a little wee voice assuring me I could never actually do it. One day, my girlfriend Trisha (and now business partner) told me that she had booked a professional speaker for her nursing students. She went on to explain that it was a physical assessment seminar with a motivational component. Of course my immediate reaction was extreme jealousy.....oh I wished I could do that. I asked her if I could go and she quickly replied...."Absolutely!" I asked her who she had booked to deliver the presentation and she said "You....this Friday at 8am...you better start writing!" I instantly had a mouthful of excuses....but she wouldn't tolerate it. She simply reinforced that the room was booked and the students were excited to meet me...get moving! My nerves were shattered!

The presentation went on without a hitch. In fact, you just can't beat a group of eager and young students as an audience. My parents taught me never let them see you sweat...so despite feeling like vomiting in the waste can...I went at it. I was elated and high as a kite. The students jaws dropped...oohs and ahhs like a fireworks show....tears and giggles and applause. Wow what a feeling! I was hooked. That damned self doubt voice was still fist fighting to beat the hell out of me...but the testimonials of the students were overwhelming proof that speaking is my forte.

From that, I ended up expanding the assessment seminar into an 8 hour day and I put it on for colleagues at the hospital for free. I was devastated when only 3 people showed up. I wanted feedback and it turned out to be a fabulous group of three for that....but my heart was broken. Of course I took this as a sign that I should abandon such a ridiculous venture. However, the feedback was amazing...and one of my colleagues insisted that I develop a motivational component only... and I did. I went on from there to speak for an EMS (paramedic) conference, and another nursing group conference. From there I was called to speak at the Atlantic Lotto Corporation as a key note for their IT conference, then as the closer for the Extreme Entrepreneur Conference in 2007. A string of gigs came in after that...and I was shocked as all of the bookings were for businesses, not nursing. So, now I have a motivational presentation for nurses and another for women in business.

This past week end was amazing! I decided to go to Halifax a day early to meet with some business colleagues and had lunch with one of my girlfriends whom I dearly missed. When I arrived in Bridgewater, the planning committee director greeted me and took me to supper. It was no ordinary supper either! I had a lobster supper at a world renowned lab consultant's house who travels all over the world. The house was right on the ocean edge...custom built...no curtains necessary. The view was breath taking...even from the can! The supper was amazing- lobster, spinach salad with brie cheese and walnuts and poppy seed dressing, basil vinaigrette potato salad, fresh bread…mmmmmm…and good wine! I was treated like a queen. They were amazing hosts!

My presentation was extremely successful... (despite feeling like vomiting in the waste can again!) well beyond my expectations. It is so funny that I LOVE to speak to groups...but I do have incredible stage fright at first. I am fine after I get talking....but up to the event...I could projectile vomit form my nerves. Trisha wants to strangle me as every presentation goes off without a hitch and the audience responds beautifully. BUT, I just can't help it....maybe I need that extra rush of adrenaline to make it happen. I told the story about me and Trisha's trials and tribulations of becoming female entrepreneurs. Some stories were funny, others were sad. The crowd went wild. The entire speech was like a roller coaster ride...lots of oohs and ahh's and laughter and tears. What a rush! I got two standing ovations and I was swarmed by crying women!!!! One of the hotel workers said “I have attended hundreds of speeches over my last 8 years here and you come out….WAY ON TOP! If you aren’t doing it for a living…you should be!” I was beside myself! The best part of it all... was being approached by the business women after the presentation who shared that they felt connected to me....they too felt fear, stress, rejection, and kept right on going. I was barraged by women who wanted to talk to me...to hear whatever I had to say. I was shocked and thrilled at the same time!

At the end of the day, I decided to spend an extra night in Bridgewater just to relax. That night I felt a new 'fullness' in my soul. I finally felt 'full' for the first time in many years...and I didn't even eat! I cannot eat before I speak. I guess that further proves the point that emotional eating is real! That hunger inside of me is not actually for a piece of cheese...it is to follow my dreams and just do it...that works for Nike...why not me? LOL! I realized that I am now writing...and I love it. I write this blog, I write presentations and speak on a professional basis. I am going to write my book. Writing is where it's at for me...so to speak.

In the morning when I went to check out, the motel clerk said "your money is no good here". I said "what?" As it turns out the manager of the motel had attended my presentation and she insisted that my stay be complimentary! Isn't that amazing? If you follow your dream you get free motel rooms!

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
- Elinor Smith

Lynn
;)