A month ago I was in a very deep and dark place. I was at my wit's end with weight gain and I just didn't feel like getting out of bed. My phone rang and the woman on the other end told me she was with the South Shore Women in Business Group and they were looking for a key note speaker for their conference, Spring to Success. I was stunned. I didn't have a topic, or price in mind or anything. I didn't even think to ask her where or how she found out about me. I agreed to it for a nominal fee as they were a non profit group and I am looking to break into the business. As usual, as soon as I hung up the phone I freaked out and asked myself what the hell I was thinking! Self doubt flooded my mind for the next month...right up until I delivered the speech actually.
I have always wanted to be a professional speaker. I wished and wished that I could do it 'someday' but I always had the hospital and work as an excuse (a crutch)...combined with a little wee voice assuring me I could never actually do it. One day, my girlfriend Trisha (and now business partner) told me that she had booked a professional speaker for her nursing students. She went on to explain that it was a physical assessment seminar with a motivational component. Of course my immediate reaction was extreme jealousy.....oh I wished I could do that. I asked her if I could go and she quickly replied...."Absolutely!" I asked her who she had booked to deliver the presentation and she said "You....this Friday at 8am...you better start writing!" I instantly had a mouthful of excuses....but she wouldn't tolerate it. She simply reinforced that the room was booked and the students were excited to meet me...get moving! My nerves were shattered!
The presentation went on without a hitch. In fact, you just can't beat a group of eager and young students as an audience. My parents taught me never let them see you sweat...so despite feeling like vomiting in the waste can...I went at it. I was elated and high as a kite. The students jaws dropped...oohs and ahhs like a fireworks show....tears and giggles and applause. Wow what a feeling! I was hooked. That damned self doubt voice was still fist fighting to beat the hell out of me...but the testimonials of the students were overwhelming proof that speaking is my forte.
From that, I ended up expanding the assessment seminar into an 8 hour day and I put it on for colleagues at the hospital for free. I was devastated when only 3 people showed up. I wanted feedback and it turned out to be a fabulous group of three for that....but my heart was broken. Of course I took this as a sign that I should abandon such a ridiculous venture. However, the feedback was amazing...and one of my colleagues insisted that I develop a motivational component only... and I did. I went on from there to speak for an EMS (paramedic) conference, and another nursing group conference. From there I was called to speak at the Atlantic Lotto Corporation as a key note for their IT conference, then as the closer for the Extreme Entrepreneur Conference in 2007. A string of gigs came in after that...and I was shocked as all of the bookings were for businesses, not nursing. So, now I have a motivational presentation for nurses and another for women in business.
This past week end was amazing! I decided to go to Halifax a day early to meet with some business colleagues and had lunch with one of my girlfriends whom I dearly missed. When I arrived in Bridgewater, the planning committee director greeted me and took me to supper. It was no ordinary supper either! I had a lobster supper at a world renowned lab consultant's house who travels all over the world. The house was right on the ocean edge...custom built...no curtains necessary. The view was breath taking...even from the can! The supper was amazing- lobster, spinach salad with brie cheese and walnuts and poppy seed dressing, basil vinaigrette potato salad, fresh bread…mmmmmm…and good wine! I was treated like a queen. They were amazing hosts!
My presentation was extremely successful... (despite feeling like vomiting in the waste can again!) well beyond my expectations. It is so funny that I LOVE to speak to groups...but I do have incredible stage fright at first. I am fine after I get talking....but up to the event...I could projectile vomit form my nerves. Trisha wants to strangle me as every presentation goes off without a hitch and the audience responds beautifully. BUT, I just can't help it....maybe I need that extra rush of adrenaline to make it happen. I told the story about me and Trisha's trials and tribulations of becoming female entrepreneurs. Some stories were funny, others were sad. The crowd went wild. The entire speech was like a roller coaster ride...lots of oohs and ahh's and laughter and tears. What a rush! I got two standing ovations and I was swarmed by crying women!!!! One of the hotel workers said “I have attended hundreds of speeches over my last 8 years here and you come out….WAY ON TOP! If you aren’t doing it for a living…you should be!” I was beside myself! The best part of it all... was being approached by the business women after the presentation who shared that they felt connected to me....they too felt fear, stress, rejection, and kept right on going. I was barraged by women who wanted to talk to me...to hear whatever I had to say. I was shocked and thrilled at the same time!
At the end of the day, I decided to spend an extra night in Bridgewater just to relax. That night I felt a new 'fullness' in my soul. I finally felt 'full' for the first time in many years...and I didn't even eat! I cannot eat before I speak. I guess that further proves the point that emotional eating is real! That hunger inside of me is not actually for a piece of cheese...it is to follow my dreams and just do it...that works for Nike...why not me? LOL! I realized that I am now writing...and I love it. I write this blog, I write presentations and speak on a professional basis. I am going to write my book. Writing is where it's at for me...so to speak.
In the morning when I went to check out, the motel clerk said "your money is no good here". I said "what?" As it turns out the manager of the motel had attended my presentation and she insisted that my stay be complimentary! Isn't that amazing? If you follow your dream you get free motel rooms!
It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
- Elinor Smith
Lynn
;)
I never had any doubts you would rock:)
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