Even though I was well aware that I had this appointment this morning, I went to my Tri Fit swim last night. Now this move was simply stupid! I did 115 laps in the pool last night in an hour. Tri-Fit swim involves 20 warm up laps, 30 laps of just kicking (no arms and flippers), 30 laps of 'pulls' (all arms with paddles to make it harder, no legs), then 30 laps of free (crawl), choice, free. Meaning I do one lap crawl, one lap breast stroke or backstroke, then back to crawl again to equal 30 laps, then sprints, then cool down free swim. Believe it or not...the flippers are an amazing way to isolate your leg muscles and they create a mega thigh 'burn'. Then, the 'pull paddles' near killed me...they basically pull your muscles off the bone...my triceps were on FIRE! Every single lap I thought about the ass-kicking I was going to get from Michelle this morning...and how I was going to regret this in the morning...and that I did!
Michelle is a sadistic chick who is built like a brick shit house for a reason...she obviously feels no pain! She should have been a dentist...because she takes great pleasure in inflicting pain...under the guise of a 'workout'...yeah right! She is one of the few on this planet who gets to tell me what to do... and I do it! She tolerates my whining,inappropriate cussing, groaning and threats. In fact...she laughs at me while I do it...which makes me laugh at myself! This makes me want to kiss her and punch her at the same time! I have no idea how she tolerates me! I cannot understand how or why she doesn't give up on me either. I will not bore you with the details...but I survived a weight-lifting-ab/butt/thigh burning-muscle-exhausting-hair pulling-whining-screaming-begging for mercy- work out extravaganza! I am going to do this every other day.
When I work out, I am so glad that I do not have a neon ticker tape of my thoughts going across my forehead. If people could see what I think in the run of a work out... I'd be locked up in a white rubber room or arrested! Michelle says that she loves it when I come to her aerobics classes because I smile the entire time. Little does she know...I smile when I scream the "F" word in my head and call her dirty names...which constantly happens during her 60 minute torture sessions!!! One second my inner voice say "what were you thinking? You can't do this...quit right now!...she's INSANE!!!" and then I scream silently in my head "Will you F#$% OFF? Leave me alone! I am going to do this!"
At then end of this psycho fiasco today...Michelle asked me if I wanted her to run me through the intense 10 minutes of cardio. As I said "Yes, sure", my devil voice screamed "WHAT!?...Tell her to DRIFT!!!" Onward and upward, I did 1 minute sprints of running, football feet, step ups, jumping jacks, and air punches over and over non stop to 10 minutes. It doesn't sound like much...but it was hell! IN fact, every single minute my devil voice was saying " OK, tell her you've had enough...tell her you are finished...tell her it is OVER!...STOP!" BUT, I kept at it despite myself.
I have an angel and a devil on each shoulder. I fight with them constantly. BUT for some bizarre reason I cannot explain...I keep going back for more...and more...and more... I must admit I am a sucker for punishment. Bottom line is...her classes ROCK and I do love them...but don't let Michelle know that...I count on her sympathy factor for survival! When it was all said and done...Michelle paid me the greatest compliment of all. She told me that I suffered just like a 'normal' person would. I never dreamed in my life that I would take 'normal' as a compliment...but it made my day!!!! I always figured I was slower because I was bigger and not exactly athletically 'gifted'. I always thought that I was WAY behind the pack...very back of the line...but I am not. I am NORMAL! Who'd of thunk it?
One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.-Helen Keller
Lynn
;)
Great job today Lynn for keeping at it. You are definately more normal than me, cause I would have said all the bad parts out loud. lol
ReplyDeleteHang in there chickie.
Joyce