The Biggest Loser is WHO?

I cannot watch The Biggest Loser on a regular basis. For some yet undiscovered mental issue...I eat and eat and eat like a maniac...uncontrollable actually. I don't know why...I can probably list off 1 million psychological reasons why...but which is applicable to me...who knows? I did tune in last night...quite by accident...just channel surfing...and felt compelled to stop. Last night's episode was the last weigh in before the finale next week. I was shocked to see Ron still there...the 54 year old father from the father and son brown team. Ron started at 430 pounds,with high blood pressure, arthritic knees, and a multitude of other health issues related to obesity. I selected him to be the first one booted off...and one of the trainer's Jill confirmed she did too. He has lost a total of 151 pounds since the show started.

No matter how many problems (perceived or real) I have with weight loss....this man's battle was magnified 10 fold to lose each and every ounce and pound. Every move he makes is very difficult...painful...and his body reacts negatively...almost as if angry that he dare to try to change now...but he keeps going. Last night, all 4 contestants participated in a full marathon. If they finished the marathon...each received a $10,000 check to donate to the charity of their choice. The TV audience was made privy to their private thoughts and struggles to continue on in the race...and despite that horrible negative voice in all of our heads...they kept going. As each contestant crossed the finish line...they showed a video of each of them before they started the show...at their highest weight...giving themselves advice on how far they have come...how much they have accomplished and to NEVER give up or go back. It was extremely inspiring!

Then, along comes Ron. By the 5th mile of the marathon (26 miles) his knee was throbbing in pain and he was limping. BY the 9th mile he had to sit down at the water break and they discovered that his blood pressure was dangerously high (202/102)! The EMT's were called in and the Dr. was dispatched to the location. I was certain he was going to be pulled from the event...and I literally LOST IT! Despite tremendous pain...insane trembling...and a horrific headache and dizziness and psychotically high blood pressure...Ron never once even suggested that he was not going to continue. After eating a snack...and consulting with the Dr...Ron got back up on his feet and continued!!! I was heaving from my tears...I went into an uncontrollable crying fit! At mile 17 the group of past Biggest Loser Winners met up with Ron to walk with him to the finish line. During the last mile...his other son who remains extremely obese...joined his father for the last mile...his other son Mike...who is one of the finalists...waited at the finish line....when Ron finally crossed...I LOST IT!!! I must have bawled for an hour or more! I was totally mental!They cried in a group hug...by this time...I could barely breathe...I was hysterical!

I use this blog to share my weight loss pain and struggles...and VERY embarrassing moments (Spinning on the Full Moon for one)...and I sat here stunned...what the hell is wrong with me? I have nothing to complain about. I have 2 feet and a heart beat. I have 2 gym memberships, I walk, I bike...I love exercise. I just get easily frustrated...if I gain a pound or don't lose a pound after sincere 150% effort...I fall of the wagon and it takes me weeks to get back on. I am not consistent with my efforts...but in some bizarre screwed up mind game...I convince myself that I work out "all the time" and cannot lose weight....this is not true. I go regularly for weeks and then with one fell swoop...or rogue pound...it's toast for a month...I sit glued to the couch...let the pity party begin...again and again. I also convince myself that I follow a healthy diet religiously...but blank out the McDonald's moments...or pasta for 6 dinners...or Dairy Queen Fudge Brownie Bowl! After the show...my husband threw a fitness challenge at me... a minimum of 30 minutes everyday of exercise...religiously...walking, biking, gym...whatever...he is in it with me for the next 30 days. I do not have high blood pressure, or arthritic knees... or hellish pain with every step...I do not have a single excuse! I am not placing a ridiculous expectation on myself...no specific number on a scale ...no specific size to reach...just stop whining...and wishing...and start moving...moving in the right direction! If I ever feel sorry for myself...or fall off the wagon again for a ridiculous pity party... I am going to imagine Ron trembling and limping...and continuing... and get off my ass and move!

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”-Bob Moawad

Lynn
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