I LOVED my 'Easy Bake Oven'! My oven was the original green monster...with the burned chocolate cake mix and any hope of identifiable finger prints from my index finger...on the light bulb. If I had of known how cheap light bulbs actually were...I would have changed the bulb...but instead I baked a katrillion cakes with the baked on scent of melted skin and chocolate. Sadly, back then...when you baked all the mixes...the 'Easy Bake Oven' was done too!
Ten years ago, I don't know who was more excited when I gave my step daughter an 'Easy Bake Microwave' for Christmas. The only difference was a plastic pan (microwave safe...although it was still only a freaking light bulb!) instead of that super duper HOT metal excuse for a pan. The aesthetics were much improved...as were the utensils... the box...the mixes...a little plastic apron....oh damn it...there is a HUGE difference...who am I kidding? It's even a LOT more difficult to burn yourself. The other big difference....is the variety and availability of Easy Bake mixes...so you can create until you are blue in the face. You can make an Easy Bake triple mocha layer wedding cake now if you want! VERY DANGEROUS...to the perpetual dieter.
This morning the Weight Watchers leader was discussing fool-proofing your home and being prepared for cravings. As usual there are the 'dufai' (that's plural for dufus)who offer tips of veggie trays, and fruit trays...and how to make rice cakes orgasmic....yadda, yadda, yadda. If the 'dufai' actually followed their advice...they wouldn't be taking up two chairs at Weight Watchers now would they? Anyway, I told the leader fool-proofing was a good idea in theory...IF you don't have an 'Easy Bake Oven'. One night...during a losing battle with an out-of-control craving...I remembered my step daughter's 'Easy Bake Microwave' in the very bottom back of her closet. I also topped up her bake mixes a few months before for her birthday. Never mind that she was 17 and not using it anymore (just joking)...I never dreamed that those damned little packages...filled with God Knows WHAT...would taste so GOOD! Who knew one ounce of water could lead to an orgasmic tasty treat? The best part was mixing in just the right amount of water....and licking that goo off my fingers...while the white cake with the multi-colored sprinkles was baking....oh excuse me...'nuking-a-la light bulb'.
This was a deep dark secret that I had kept in the bottom-back-depths of my closet! Imagine my surprise when everyone not only laughed hysterically...they all poured out their crazy psycho secrets....half of them also admitted to similar secrets... ate their kid's Easter bunnies the night before and ran out to the dollar store for emergency replacement...Halloween candy (portion control for the kids of course)...'Easy-bake-play-dates'...where refusing the proceeds of love from your child in the shape of a rock-hard-burnt-chocolate cake (with finger prints burned on)is totally unacceptable! I was shocked at how therapeutic my confession was! I had carried around this guilt-shame-your-a-freak secret for 10 years...only to find out I am of the majority....we all had such a great release....surprisingly...the 'dufai' had a few special secrets too...and it didn't involve chewing on styrofoam-esque rice cakes!
Sadly, as we all grow older...there is never a warning that "this is the last time you are going to have fun with your Easy Bake Oven...the last time you will color as a kid...the last time you play 'Barbies' with your girlfriends. There is no warning that you are all of a sudden not a child anymore. It just happens. I am still traumatized by the day I saw my big green Easy Bake Oven sitting on it's side amongst the garbage at the end of the driveway. The wind was knocked out of me...my entire baking career flashed before my eyes...and the tears flowed freely...I went and said my good byes...coddled it like a pet that had just been hit by a car...on the side of the road. This was something that had to happen...a rite of passage that is unavoidable. BUT...I still FEEL like a kid....I still will jump in with a kid who wants me to skip or color...I will never tire of home-made macaroni cards...or Easy Bake Oven treats!
“There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.”-Deepak Chopra
Lynn
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