Did you Know Eyeballs Sweat?

I finally made it to a spinning class this week. It was Phil's class and this man is brutal. He does the real deal...like biking from here to freaking Africa just for fun! You know the kind! His class is awesome because if you can make it through, you feel like you've just climbed Mount Everest! For those of you who do not know what spinning is...it is an hour on a stationary bike, increasing and decreasing the tension (like moving the gears) and standing, hovering, and sitting as if you are participating in an Olympic race. You always have to push yourself to the limit in these classes. Also, whoever invented the bicycle seat must be a 90 pound freak of a man! Those seats are inhumane! I know for a fact these seats were never intended for my 260 pound voluptuous ass! I brought my gel seat and had on my bicycle shorts. Bicycle shorts have a nice diaper-esque lining to further protect your perineal integrity. So, bottom line I cannot imagine the incredulous pain I would be in without my added protection because my crotch and those muscles you never use unless you bike in your crotch were screaming blue bloody murder. My goodness my crotch was KILLING ME!! People say you get used to it? Is that like getting used to the dentist performing a root canal without freezing? Do the nerves in your precious area just stop working because they are crushed and now impaired somehow? I once had bicycle butt so bad I grew balls!!! I had two very black and blue balls of fluid in the precious zone for 2 weeks. Whenever I had to sit or pee I cried! Despite this, I will remain optimistic. Spinning is fabulous for many reasons. The best reason is the calorie burn. It is said that spinning is the best exercise for calorie burn...like 700 calories a minute! That isn't quite true but it feels that way! My eye balls were sweating! I literally could not see because I had a wicked burning in my eyes and sweat dropping from them. My knees were sweating too! That is a first time for me! I must say that this torture is worth it. For one hour of torture...that also happens to be fun in a sadistic kind of way... I am going to reach my goal one way or another. Mayybe I'll do what the kid does in that toilet paper commercial and just fill my spandex pants with reems of toilet paper!