I spontaneously pulled into the Moncton Running Room parking lot in April 2005. I sat in my car and smoked 3 cigarettes before I walked in and signed up for a Learn to Run Clinic. I purchased the proper running shoes, socks and water bottle right then and there. As I walked back to the car I shook my head in disbelief and I asked myself….”What were you thinking?” There was no turning back!
Looking back, I was desperate that day. I was 273 pounds and smoking a full package of cigarettes a day. I was eating and smoking out of control because my life was out of control. I was miserable and stressed out at work. I was crying inexplicably all the time and I needed to take medication for depression and to sleep. I had cracked 4 molars from grinding my teeth in my sleep due to stress. After I paid the dentist $1200 for repairs and a bite plane, I drove directly to the Running Room to learn how to run. Ironically this rock bottom day turned out to be one of the best days of my life. I began to realize that I was judging myself by ‘what I do’ rather than ‘who I am’. My career had taken first place over everything and everyone else. For that, I had built up a lot of bitterness and I subsequently burned out. I needed to do something to de-stress and regain control of my life.
I was scared to death the first night of the clinic! Week after week I asked myself “What were you thinking?” I will never forget the first time we did the 3:1 week. It was a rainy and cold day and I felt breathless and hopeless. I managed to do it with the encouragement of the clinic instructor Stacey and her assistants, Anne, Gus and Shirley. They believed in me more than I did! Despite their encouragement and my incredible accomplishment, I cried all the way home in the car! But, for some reason I kept going back week after week.
The 3:1 week was pivotal to my running success for two reasons. The first reason was meeting my friend Carol. We were always way behind the others in the clinic every week. Carol and I bonded immediately because she turned to me and said “What the heck were we thinking?” We became fast friends! From that week forward, she forced herself to go running because she had agreed to meet me and vice versa. Carol and I continued to ‘bring up the back’ together, laughing and telling stories. Carol and ran 4 km; 3 times a week because we are too stubborn to cancel on each other and neither one of us ever wants to go back to the 3:1 level ever again! We realized that running is beneficial for you physically, and mentally. Before, a rain storm would’ve ruined my day and I would have run from the car to the house. Later, Carol and I would run through the puddles and giggle like fools!
In August 2005, Carol and me participated in the ‘5 Miler’ in the Marathon by the Sea in Saint John NB. During the race, we continuously asked ourselves “What the heck were we thinking?” and “Can you believe that we are actually running?” When I crossed that finish line holding up hands with my 2 running buddies, I felt like I had just climbed Mount Everest! Then, to top it all off, a big picture of us crossing the finish line was in the newspaper that next day! Our faces hurt because we couldn’t stop smiling.
In July 2006, I participated in another dream come true… the Ottawa Bell City Chase. Again, I was scared to death because I didn’t know what to expect and I questioned my abilities. The Bell City Chase was so much fun! My partner in the race, Barbara, was a long lost childhood friend. We had been inseparable from the age of 4-18 years old. Then, our lives took different paths and we lost touch with each other for 19 years. In 2006 we found each other again and we decided that the Bell City Chase was the best way to commemorate our reunion. Barbara lives in the Ottawa region, so we decided on that location. Thank goodness Barbara knew the city well, because I live in Moncton NB and I was clueless to where we were most times. The race was full of wild and crazy adventures and we had so much fun acting like kids again! The race was scheduled over 6 hours (10am- 4pm).We finished in just over 5 hours and we were far from last place. I felt like I could conquer anything when I crossed that finish line!
I began to realize that running had radically changed my life. I originally joined to lose weight and to quit smoking. I did manage to lose 40 pounds, but I gained so much more! I gained self respect and confidence, as well as a fantastic life long friend in Carol. She and I dedicated 4 hours every week to de-stress and take care of ourselves. I also discovered that my entire attitude towards life had changed. I left the safety of convention (my job) and took a giant leap of faith this past January to pursue my dream of becoming a Nurse Entrepreneur. Instead of dreading everyday, I wake up and seek out new challenges and goals to pursue. Instead of asking “What were you thinking?” I now say “Bring it on!”
Carol’s husband got a new job in another city and she moved away in October 2006. I am still devastated that she ran into my life and ran out! (I am just kidding Carol but I do miss you terribly!) I never ran again after our last run together. I am angry with myself as I swore I would never stop running and now when I will have to start from square one again. But the best part is I know I can do it. I don’t question whether I can or I can’t. My next goal is to do a sprint triathlon in May. 2009 and I can barely wait!!!
Sincerely,
Lynn
;)
Bring it!
ReplyDeleteI especially loved this part:
... but I gained so much more! I gained self respect and confidence, as well as a fantastic life long friend in Carol. She and I dedicated 4 hours every week to de-stress and take care of ourselves. I also discovered that my entire attitude towards life had changed."
THIS is awesome!