Sabotage

Weight-259 Body Fat 44.2% Pounds gained!-1pound Body Fat- Loss 0.5%

I must admit I am a hypocrite. I just posted that I would not be obsessed with numbers, and I would just go by the way I feel. Well, I lied! I gained weight this week. My heart sunk in my boots when I saw that I gained a pound. Yes, I know about gaining muscle to lose pounds. I know the logic...muscle is heavier than fat, more muscle means faster fat loss...bla, bla, bla... I get it. But that 1 single rat-bastard-pound slapped me in the face! Could I say that I have no idea why the loss didn't happen? Of course I can...but that would be a lie. I sabotaged myself. I will never understand why I sabotage myself. I had a fabulous week with my diet and exercised like a son of a gun! On Sunday, the day before weigh in I ate 8 rice crispy squares! Not one...EIGHT! Over the day I heard the box of rice crispy squares taunting me saying... "Eat me bitch! EAT ME!" I was in a trance... and obeyed the rice crispy square gods. The definition of sabotage is:

1.any underhand interference with production, work, etc., in a plant, factory, etc., as by enemy agents during wartime or by employees during a trade dispute.
2.any undermining of a cause.
3.to injure or attack by sabotage.
4. disable, vandalize, cripple

I have participated in this behavior for many years. I do not have an excuse. I couldn't be a Jerry Springer guest if I wanted to be. My parents have been married 50 years this coming March. I had a fabulous childhood... and so did my friends because my parents are amazing. My parents lugged me and my friends everywhere for swimming, bass lessons, guitar lessons, band practice, church choir and youth group, curling, drama and plays, cottage week ends, parties and everything in between! My schedule as a kid was ridiculous, BUT it was my choice. No pressure from Mom and Dad...I just kept right on going. I like to be busy. I have great friends. I went to many parties and I have many wild and crazy adventures that I cannot discuss publicly! (I bet you Logan is sighing with relief right now! LOL!) I am also married to my soul mate and my stepkids ROCK!!! I have my own business and I work from home. I used to have plenty of reasons to blame my weight gain on. But now those excuses are all gone and I am left wondering what to do...I have nothing to blame! I have a fabulous life! So great family, wonderful friends, loads of good times= no excuses! So why on earth do I sabotage?

Lynn
;)